Thursday, April 16

The Beatles teach pedestrian safety

  1. When in a group, proceed one at a time. While common social mores may lead certain groups to walk side-by-side in order to converse more effectively, this is actually the most dangerous formation possible. Instead one person ought to cross, with each following member of the group staggering the crossing time by roughly 5 seconds. An evenly distributed line dramatically increased pedestrian visibility.

  2. Group leader must wear reflective clothing. John Lennon’s double-piece white suit maximizes nighttime visibility. The white shoes are the critical piece of the ensemble, as they draw attention to the oscillating walking movements of his feet. George Harrison, being the fourth to cross, is free to dress casually in as much denim as he wishes.

  3. Do not panic, but stay completely calm. The Beatles know in their back of their minds that their lives are one drunken driver away from ending, yet they have mentally trained themselves to keep their fears at bay. A panicking pedestrian is susceptible to erratic behavior, but Paul McCartney shows that you can be so calm as to have a cigarette dangling from your fingers.

  4. Walk in precisely the center of the zebra stripes. Studies have shown that for every 6 inches away from the median of the crosswalk, a pedestrian increases his chances of being hit by 7%. The Beatles, on the other hand, have leveraged symmetry to their advantage. By using peripheral vision, they have perfected their positioning without at all being distracted by looking down.

  5. With proper training being a pedestrian can be fun. Paul McCartney shows off a little by leaving his shoes by the side of the road. While this is not certainly recommended for novices, it demonstrates that with enough practice and razor-sharp reflexes pedestrians can feel free to express themselves in a unique way.
Update: Alright, excuse the silliness on this one. I've got so many projects and presentations in the real world to prepare for, I didn't have it in me to come up with a serious post. But at least I've already got two hits from a "Paul McCartney" google search. Score! Welcome, Beatles fans.


Dave said...

Too funnyy.

elventryst said...

This is cute, Dan! Love it!

Sean Tubbs said...

Daniel - before you arrived here, former TJPDC Harrison Rue used to use the "Beatles test" for walkability. I'll try to find a link if you're interested.